5live Dreadball - Monday Night Club

The following is a transcript of a sequence of Dreadball season data that was fed into an historical broadcase emulator.  Specifically a 21st Century 'BBC 5Live' radio broadcast.

Mark Chapman: Well good evening everybody and welcome to the Monday Night Club, in a moment we'll bring you al the talk from the DPL with our guests, plus updates from our featured game Ragnarr Delvers as they host the Kamino Kinetics.  But first we have some news from elsewhere in the DPL as the manager of second from bottom Thunder Delvers has been sacked after only 1 game of the season.  Olaf Greybeard has been in charge for six months but has only won two games in that time.  Joining me in the studio is Danny Mills."



Danny Mills: Hello Mark.

Mark Chapman: Hello Danny, had your food?

Danny Mills: Yes, Soylent Green, delicious.

Mark Chapman: (laughs) Lovely, and also joining me The Journeyman himself, Steve Claridge.

Steve Claridge: That looks digusting Danny, god knows what's in it.

Mark Chapman: People I think.

Steve Claridge: I rest my case.

Danny Mills: Are we going to to talk about Dreadball or analyse my lifestyle.

Mark Chapman: Calm down Danny, it's only a joke.  He's a bit tetchy already tongiht.

(laughs from studio)

Mark Chapman: So Greybeard is gone after 1 game, are we surprised?

Danny Mills: Not at all, he shouldn't have been appointed in the first place, they got rid of a decent manager in his predacessor and appointed a former player legend, it never works.  The owners have totally lost the plot there. Simply not good enough.

Mark Chapman: Steve?

Steve Claridge: Well what he said, nothing more to say is there.  It's not rocket science, you appoint somebody with no managerial experience and you get eight losses in a row.

Mark Chapman:  Right that's the end of that analysis then....

Steve Claridge: Well what else is there to say.

Mark Chapman: OK...(rips paper), that's the end of that one.  Let's go over to the Ironworks Stadium where Alan Green has the team news for tonight's game.  Alan?

Alan Green: It's freezing cold here in the Ironworks Stadium, you think they'd have a furnace or two with that name to warm us up.  Anyway, here's the team news.  The Ragnar Delvers name an unchanged side from their 4-0 thrashing of Real Tronkers last week, their top scorer Throgan Ironsword starts upfront next to new signing Torman Brightblade who hasn't impressed well yet.  A back three of Stonemantle, Coldarm and Steelhammer shores up the defense.  The Kamino Kinetics play their usual unorthdox all striker line-up with all eyes on Ne'Flav as he looks to score his fiftieth point in this calendar year.

(HORN)

Alan Green: Sorry about that folks, seems to be all the rage now to blow these massive dwarf horns before each game.  You can't hear yourself think and it's all fake, you don't need this kind of commercialism because of course, everybody can buy a miniature one to drive everybody crazy...anywya, those are the teams let's hope these horns shut up before kick off or you won't be able to hear me.

Mark Chapman: Thanks Alan, get warmed up.  Alan mentioned there that Ragnar thrash Real Tronkers 4-0 last week, it's not been a good start for them, particularly as Atletico Tronkers have gotten off  to a decent start.  Is it crisis time for Real?

Danny Mills: I don't think so, they've got quality but they've got injuries and had a big pre-season tour of the Western Spiral Arm.

Steve Claridge: I dunno Danny, they've lost some big name signings over the summer and not replace that quality.  I think they're going to struggle.

Mark Chapman: Surely you can't be saying they're going to go down?

Steve Claridge: I didn't say anything like that did I Chappers?  I just think they'll struggle that's all and I don't buy the manager's excuse last week that the refbot was agains them.

Mark Chapman: But decisions did seem to favour the Delvers last week?

Steve Claridge Chappers the Refbot can't be to blame for those kind of mistakes, it's impartial.  The Delvers got the decisions because the Tronkers were panicking and fouling.  You can't slam like that in this division, you can get away with it in Dreadball Extreme, but not in the DPL.  The Refbot is always going to come down hard.

Danny Mills: I don't like it when managers blame the refbot, take some responsibility for your situation.

Mark Chapman: But are they in crisis...

Danny Mills: We use the word too much, a little blip, a few games and it's a crisis, they've got millions behind them, they're not too far behind the pack.  Teams lower down the divisions would kill to have their position.

Mark Chapman: We've got a Z'Zor caller who's a Tronkers fan on the line.  I'm not even going to try and pronounce your name, so go ahead.

Caller: Kzeeet Kriiiicht Qriiiiist

Mark Chapman: OK, we seem to have a problem with the translator, so we'll try and get them back in a moment.  In the meantine let's talk transfers, Ian Dennis is outside the Wampa Wanderers stadium on Hoth, what's happening there Ian?

Ian Dennis: Iiiiiiiii bbbbbbbbbeeeeen hereeeee forrrr fiiiive hhhhours and nooooobodyyyyys cccccome ooooout orrr iiinto thheee cllllluub....

Mark Chapman: We'll check back later, thanks Ian.  Now over to the news and sports....